Silly Dad Jokes

[plennis]

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

Don’t trust stairs, they’re always up to something.

Whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now.

I like waiters, they bring a lot to the table.

My mate says I'm getting fat, but in my defense I've had a lot on my plate recently.

Some mornings I wake up grumpy, on others I let her sleep in.

I'm going to stand outside, so if anyone asks tell them I'm outstanding.