Invasions of privacy

[UGetPaid]

^No problem. Sometimes when you've lived the experience and then try to express it in writing or in talking to someone else - you know what happened or what you mean to say and you hold the whole event in your own mind, but then miss a detail or two in telling the story to someone who wasn't there. I've done that many times myself (even on here a few times).

[mrisha]

If he did not respect your privacy initially, you all should have sat down and had a talk about what you would not continue.  If he did not respect you enough to stop it, then there is really a big problem.  The next step he would take is following you or stalking you no matter where you went.  I am sure he had all these faults before marriage, but people like that always hide their faults until after the marriage.  It's ridiculous of him to do something like that and then tell the lies to friends and family.  He has serious problems.

[Cbsteffen]

I used to have a strict privacy but still get into other people’s businesses that shouldn’t have been my concern. I had to have inherited that from my father because he still acts that way. How did I learn to stop? I enhanced my executive functions with brain games. A situation I now determine to not be my concern is something I resist interaction with.

[brian8713]

Thanks for your support mrisha. I mean, I'm not going to claim to be perfect. Should I have sent the negative messages about him? Probably not. But you also have to ask yourself what led me to a point where I'm texting friends that I hate him. He had me in tears in front of his whole family at his nephew's birthday party. I'm not allowed to vent a little after that?

He had invaded my privacy a couple times before. The second time it happened, I kicked him out of my bedroom for the night. The third time, he was on the phone with his best friend trashing me before he even left our house to go drink/smoke/trash me. I had it up to here after that, especially since we had just gone out to dinner and were having a nice night. Way to ruin my evening, honey.

I frankly didn't know him that well when I married him. I rushed it. I also wasn't expecting his issues with money to continue to be so crippling to our relationship. I want to plan for retirement. He wants to go on $200 shopping sprees at Target every day. I never heard of a couple with a six-figure income being broke, but that was indeed us.

And in spite of blaming me for our financial problems (seriously), they miraculously went away as soon as I kicked him out. Either I finally learned how to budget at the ripe old age of 30, or my partner was holding me back. I don't believe he's all bad, but he went too far with me multiple times since the breakup. Verbal abuse, making up lies about me, trashing me/slandering me to anyone who would listen, even threatening to go after my house, screwing me on multiple debts. He owes me ... you don't want to know how much money so I have no desire to ever talk to him again.