Is there love the second time around?

[laine39]

Wow, all of you are awesome! Thank you so much for all the positive posts and for giving me strength to believe that I will find love again. My husband was abusive, a heavy drinker, a bad boy, and all I ever did was try to please him. I sacrificed myself to try and make him happy. It never seemed to be enough and the mood swings were outrageous. It was one hell of a rollercoaster ride. He was the love of my life tho, and yet I am still trying to figure out what I could have done better. I was so happy for the good times, but dreaded all that I knew would come next....sometimes within minutes. It's been two months since I left my home and filed for divorce. I have no contact with him at all now. I'm sure he moved on with someone else. He couldn't do anything for himself ever. My daughter has no contact with him either, by her choice. She told him he treated me like a maid and much worse was said. Sometimes, I wasn't allowed to even speak. She's 24 and he is her step-dad. She saw what went on for years, and we don't think how it affects our children's relationships, but it does. I watched her with a boyfriend who had similiar traits with emotional and verbal abuse. Thank God, after 4 years, she is not with him. It takes away your self esteem and pride. I think about getting older alone, and it's like wow this wasn't suppose to happen....we were suppose to grow old together, we were just planning a vacation and had a great Christmas. I just want to stop with the "whys" and get past it all and stop thinking! I feel like more of a fool and the humiliation is beyond, because I had filed for divorce first in October a year ago, and took him back believing everything would change, and he would keep all the promises he made. I believed him when he said he couldn't live without me and would do anything to be a good husband, and how I would always come first. Well, I never did....

[jarheadwife04]

There is someone for everyone and as soon as you give up on finding it you are going to be hit with cupids arrow!  Hang in there you will find love again.

[sfister65]

Just want to fix an oops. Yes love does happen again (not doesn't). Sorry about that.

[kjstrukel]

My first husband was a certified douche bag!  Yes there is love the 2nd time around--- I met my current husband at a bar (I KNOW) 27 years ago....he was just divorced from wife #2.  26 years later, we are still having a great time and are very much in love!

[vmcutshall]

I hope there is love a second time around. I have been divorced for 4 years and have not had time to concentrate on myself but finally I am at that place where I can start looking.

[SimpleLady]

I posted on divorce, and thank all those again for their support and kind words who posted back. This is horrific not matter how you try and deal with it, after 18 years with the same man. The divorce is not final yet. Is there love again after divorce? I really hope so....I'm not into bars, and friends that I guess must never have been mine, but are his only. So I go it alone. Where do you even attempt to meet nice guys today? I thought about online sites, but that seems desperate to me. Has anyone tried it with any good experiences?

I've been divorced from my second husband for only 2 days now. It's really hard on me, after 24 years of marriage to me he decided to go back to his first wife. I feel nothing less than a fool and as far as love coming around again, I wish you the best.

[samrhett2]

I think there is for some people.  For others, I think that they never do find that right person.

[falcon9]

I think there is for some people.  For others, I think that they never do find that right person.

That'll happen, as will sometimes finding the 'wrong' person to love the next time around.  Maybe I'm fortunate enough that someone found me this time around. If another found me, (as 'lovable' as others may deem incredulous), someone else might be found too.

[LAkathi]

I sincerely, feel that there is love the second time around. Married #1 Early in life,I was 16,almost 17. he was my first, and thought my only,but God had other plans.  We were married for 16 years, before the lord, called him home.  Meet my current husband  2 years later, married 2 years after.will be celerbrating our17 wedding anniversery in September, and we are still going strong.

[falcon9]

God had other plans.  We were married for 16 years, before the lord, called him home.  

If some keep insisting upon interjecting their religious beliefs into an unrelated topic, they might not want to recall that they did so however, they seem to vividly recall when such is objected to.  There is no evidence to support the belief that a hypothetical "g-d" has any hypothetical "plans" nor, is able to "call" anyone anywhere, (sans hallucinations).

[momoney555]

laine39, sorry about what you are going through.  I was married for 8 years to a man who sounds a lot like the husband you described.  I can fully relate to your situation.  For me this was several years ago and all I can say now is that I am sooo glad he left.  Although you cant see it now, he did you the biggest favor by freeing up your future and allowing you to be free to find happiness with someone worthy of you or to find happiness by just being good to yourself.  I do want to warn you not to look for a replacement out of desperation because you might set yourself up to attract someone even worse than he was.  Just concentrate on enjoying yoir life, being good to yourself and that positive vibe will attract the right person to you, like it did to me.  Although I have chosen not to remarry, I love my freedom  too much, I have a great friend and life is good.

[Irmarie]

Yes there is, my best wishes to you, and dont give up ever, no matter what 

[queenofnines]

Most people don't get marriage right on their first try.  It's highly unlikely that you will never find love again once you get back there.  "Plenty of fish in the sea" and all that jazz.

[bigfoot951]

Let's first be honest and say that love doesn't really exist everytime someone says it does.  So love is something that is pretty hard to find to start with.  But I think love is just as easy to find the second time around as it is the first.