Parenting advice on what makes kids do that?

[sak4kat]

A few days ago I responded to a post regarding parents and there obese children.  I praised myself and my son positively.  This year for Easter; I gave him and his sisters chocolates in there baskets along with toys.  My son's (12) Dr. put him on a healthy eating plan.  Spoke to me about limiting his sugar and bad foods...encourage him to be more active and such.  So he's done really well.  But here's the kicker.  In the past he hordes junk-food in his room.  I've found empty candy wrappers on the floor behind dressers, under the bed, between the mattress etc.... After Halloween I ran into the same thing so I made him dump all his candy out.  He has 2 sisters and they too have there treats from different occasions and they too get to indulge regularly.  This morning I hear his 5 year old sisters drawer open and close...coincidentally it's where she keeps her candy.  She was sleeping and he was getting ready for school.  So I called him on it.  He told me he was trading a twix for a 3 musketeer.   I asked him if she new about that?  If he made a deal with her the day before?  He said no.  So I asked him why did you take it upon yourself to switch things out with her and help yourself.  He just shrugged his shoulders.   Any advice?  I'm not sure how to UNDERLINE the importance of lying, sneaking and stealing any more than I already do.

[ruevouge]

My son is 11 and will turn 12 during the summer.  I also have 2 girls who are younger than him, so I understand ( and also see ) this happening.  My son isn't as much of a talker, and I think boys are this way.  I believe the most important thing is to just explain things to him because so he knows right/wrong, because it will be hard to get him to say it.  My girls on the other hand will talk all day about whatever topic I bring up.  One thing I do to help out when I want to explain something is have him read.  Boys don't read as much any ways, so naturally when they read- it might be helpful to accidentally on purpose have some really cool looking book lying around on the topic of healthy eating and another on lying/stealing whatever.

I could sit here all day dishing out ideas- but maybe this helps ?? !!

[ruevouge]

One other thing- I'm absolutely positive to suggest don't scold, especially when concerning food.  I'm a big believe in this because it affects body image- kids, especially when very young through the teen years, are very much affected by this and it's something they shouldn't have to worry about.  They will see enough of things affecting them as adults (and have probably already seen it a lot already).  Over weight, especially seriously overweight, children probably have a lot of serious negative body images, which probably doesn't help them to lose the weight, and as they gained weight they likely had "stares" and "looks" which added to their image factor.

[acurtsinger2]

not all of us are meant to be thin...that's the spice in life...we are all different, and another thing..WE ARE ALL BORN WITH A CERTAIN NUMBER OF FAT CELLS IN OUR BODY, THEY CANT BE REMOVED, THIS IS GENETICS. with that being said, there are triggers that happen to get them revved up, stress, illness, sometimes a bad thyroid, many different things can trigger them to become active.  has your little boy had an illness?  has his thyroid been checked?   has a had any stress in his life such as a death of a person close to him, or divorce, marital problems in the home, trouble at school?  after these issues are addressed, then you can move from there.  helping him be active, offering healthy foods, letting him know you love him will help a great deal, and at some point you might have to accept the idea that he may never be the "perfect" 6ft 180 lbs. love him no matter what..and you are obviously a good momma or you wouldn't be as concerned as you are

[sak4kat]

Thank you everyone for the + words of advice.  I'm going to definitely make a trip to the library and pick up some books towards lying and sneaking.  I already have several healthy eating books plastered in the kitchen and bathroom.  I've never seen my son pick the books up in the kitchen but that doesn't mean he doesn't in the bathroom.  I get what your saying about boys not talking as much as girls.  You hit my son's description dead on.  Funny someone mentioned the Thyroid.  Both my daughter and mother have thyroid disorders.  My oldest now 13 was diagnosed when she was 11.  Dr. didn't seem worried in the thyroid department as far as my son goes.  He has lost weight by eating healthier and exercising so my concern isn't with the lbs as much as it is his hording and sneaking sweets.  And now that he's stealing from his little sister while the rest of us aren't looking is very concerning to me. He's 12 now... when he's 16 what sort of things might this behavior lead to?

[clickers]

Mom, you could perhaps take the candy from them and keep it yourself and when you feel like they should some you give it to them. As for the child who took his sister's candy with out asking, have someone do the same thing to him with something he really loves and he would get to experience how it feels.

[vickysue]

Guess i was really lucky both of my boys would rather eat vegs, their dad was a junk food junkie and the grandma was always buying them and the other grandkids bags of candy, i would just think her and put it away and pretty soon it was out of sight out of mind and they kept eating their veggies. Their cousins for the most part were chunky and or chubby ( really were overweight).