Mondays chuckle

[cateyes1]

A crusty old  biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up to a tavern in  the middle of nowhere, parks his bike and walks inside.

As he  passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:

COLD BEER: $2.00

HAMBURGER:  $2.25

CHEESEBURGER: $2.50

CHICKEN SANDWICH :  $3.50

HAND JOB: $50.00

Checking his wallet to be sure he  has the necessary payment, the ole' biker  walks up to the bar  and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is  serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers.

She  glides down behind the bar to the ole biker.

"Yes?" she  inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "may I help you?"

The ole  biker leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lady," he whispers,  "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

She looks into his  eyes with that wide smile and purrs "Why yes, yes, I sure  am".

The ole' biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers  softly, "Well, wash your hands real good, 'cause I want a  cheeseburger
 

 

 

[Phx0808]

A Nun And Two Monks

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbled across a monastery and requested shelter there.

Fortunately, she was just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she had ever tasted.

After dinner, she strolled into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She was met by two of the Brothers.

They welcomed her with, "Hello, I am brother Michael and this is Brother
Charles."

"I am very pleased to meet you both," replied the nun, "I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever had. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"

Brother Charles replied, "Well, thank you sister. I am the fish friar."

She turned to Brother Michael and said, "then you must be....?"

"Yes, sister," interrupted Brother Michael you are correct. I am the chip monk."

[cateyes1]

A Nun And Two Monks

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbled across a monastery and requested shelter there.

Fortunately, she was just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she had ever tasted.

After dinner, she strolled into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She was met by two of the Brothers.

They welcomed her with, "Hello, I am brother Michael and this is Brother
Charles."

"I am very pleased to meet you both," replied the nun, "I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever had. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"

Brother Charles replied, "Well, thank you sister. I am the fish friar."

She turned to Brother Michael and said, "then you must be....?"

"Yes, sister," interrupted Brother Michael you are correct. I am the chip monk."

that was cute 

[acurtsinger2]

that was funny...good job!!!

[mrstina08]

funny enough

[kay7]

Tony and Yvonne were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they carefully watched their pennies.


Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to Yvonne's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on yet another holiday vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.


They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.'


Tony looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth..

'What are the greens fees?,' grumbled Tony..
'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.'


Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch.
'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to Tony. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.'

Tony looked around and nervously asked Yvonne, 'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?'

'That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!'

'No gym to work out at?' said Tony
'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.
'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'
'Never again'

Tony glared at Yvonne and said, 'You and your Bran Flakes. We could have been here ten years ago!'

Have A Happy Life And Give someone A Smile.

[poppy1]

OMG! I eat the bran and work out two to three times a day. Thanks Kay7 for the laugh!  I think I better just continue counting calories, lol

[LenoraMinogue]

Thank you for these! I'm always in search of a good laugh. And you provided it. Thanks a bunch!

[Kiki1992]

I just laughed out lout, Kay7, that was a good one!

[luveyourworld]

didnt really laugh. its more true than funny. i'd have her wash her hands before making my order too.