Shy or just rude

[shasha2210]

I get shy all the time I am a shy person

[betlynjua]

When I was very young I was extremely shy.  However, that didn't stop me from saying "please" and "thank you" whenever it was appropriate. 

In my opinion, it should never matter how shy a person is; that is no excuse for not being polite and respectful. 

I am totally turned off by disrespect and since I see it more and more, I'm turned off more and more. 

Then you wonder why I love my pets so much.  LOL   

Hi Bet...its been over 6 months our Penny has passed.I cant tell you how many times i have relived the last night with her taking her last breath between my wife and i after i pleaded with God to do something..her suffering was so bad.We have come close to adopting but havent quite pulled the trigger yet.Keep loving those pets.

Hello Hitch,
It's been 8 months since we lost one of our beloved pets and I still miss her so very much.  I think I know how you feel about not being ready to adopt again.  If and hopefully when the time is right, you will know it. 

Yes, we will always continue to love pets.  When Jehovah gave the instruction to care for the earth and the animals, we took that responsibility very seriously and  still do. 

[sfreeman8]

My nephew has a new girlfriend has to be middle twenties at least - met her at Thanksgiving and then she came with him to my Christmas party.  My brother-in-law says she is "shy"  I think she is rude.  At her age if she is that shy then she needs to at least be polite enough to say "Thanks for inviting me" I like your house, at least hi or goodbye.  But not a peep I think that is totally rude.  What do you guys think?

I think she was just shy. I have been shy all my life. I'm terrified meeting new people. Always have been and never know what to say.

Another example is my son's new girlfriend....she came to our Christmas Eve gathering, meeting everyone for the first time. She barely said a word all night and when it came time for gift giving, she was shocked that I handed her a gift, but very pleased that we thought of her.  (The gift wasn't much but I have stuff just for occasions like this.) She seemed to relax after that and opened up a little bit, but was still uneasy.  Anyway, when leaving, she gave me a hug and thanked us for including her. The next day thanked me again on FB.

[gaby_ro_2004]

If she was there for the first time,maybe she was shy. Give her some time to know you and your family. I was shy at her age.

[brian8713]

I'm 32 and still super shy. I really can't help it. I have social anxiety. People need to be understanding of shy people.

[annadote]

I understand how that could seem like she was being rude. But I also understand where she is coming from. She doesn't really know anyone in your family but her boyfriend. If she is introverted, she won't be inclined to do small talk because it is exhausting for introverts. Maybe she doesn't know what she has in common with your family. Plus some people are genuinely not inclined to talk if they don't have to. Or maybe she was raised with a different definition of polite than you were.

I say to give her another chance.

[countrygirl12]

I understand how that could seem like she was being rude. But I also understand where she is coming from. She doesn't really know anyone in your family but her boyfriend. If she is introverted, she won't be inclined to do small talk because it is exhausting for introverts. Maybe she doesn't know what she has in common with your family. Plus some people are genuinely not inclined to talk if they don't have to. Or maybe she was raised with a different definition of polite than you were.

I say to give her another chance.

If you read the OP comment this is not the first family engagement she has been to.  She was at Thanksgiving and then at Christmas.  If someone came to an event at my house twice and refused to speak to anyone I would think they didn't want to be there and would feel they were being rude and would not care if they didn't come again.  I can see if no one spoke to her not going up and starting a conversation but surely her boyfriend introduced her to people and others there spoke to her.

More and more I see people like this going in and sitting there texting on their phone and half way looking up to respond if somebody speaks to them.  I have seen this first hand.

[minioncookies]

I think in my opinion i'm gonna have to say a little bit of both... It's deffinetly not hard to say something hi, bye, thank you, i like your house, have a great day, thanks for inviting me, Simply put It's mannerisms but again not everyone has those..
  If she was shy i can also see where it may have put just a bit of stress.. because alot of times meeting family can be hard for some folks.. You got the first impressions.. the judgements and ironically family can be very critical. So i  can deffinetly see where a shy person would sorta clam up and get nervous and or stressed about the situation and not talk.. You never can tell what is going through a person's mind at the time..

[timvolley]

unless so eine says something gbad then she is rude otherwise she might be shy

[berthabutt]

countrygirl:

The incident you described (the gift) and what happened in this situation are not remotely the same.

You come off as rude many, many times, and I am aware that I do too. At least I have the self-awareness to know this.

Those of you who are saying that it is just plain rude are the rude ones because you do not attempt to understand that people are different. You just get up on your high horse and judge, judge, judge.

People who are shy or have social anxiety indeed do have problems even looking other people in the eye. So, to assume that it is so easy to say "thank you," is a bit rude on your part.

For all we know, she did not want to come because of her shyness, and her boyfriend dragged her there anyway because HE (like many of you) do not care about how anyone else feels; it is all about you. It is all about social norms with no regard to those who may be different.

Any attempt to judge someone else and you guys are on it like flies on a corpse.

Makes me not want to know any of you. I have a very shy, backwards brother who people have the audacity to assume is not very smart because he rarely speaks in front of strangers.

I avoid all parties because I have social anxiety disorder, OCD, and depression. I can rarely leave my home anymore.

Shame on every last one of you . . .

A group of snobs.

 

LOL.  YOU come off as rude as well.  And yes the situations are exactly the same.  If you are too scared to say hi then you need to stay at home in your little box.  It is funny because this "social anxiety crap" didn't use to even be a thing.

No it is not rude to say someone else is rude for coming in to their home and not speaking.  You are being rude for calling everyone else rude who does not agree with your line of thinking.

If you do not want to know any of us then why the heck are you in these forums talking to us?  Oh so you can as you say get on YOUR high horse and judge all of us and yell at us and put us down? lol.  You do the exact same thing you accuse others of doing.

If is hilarious that you say you have social anxiety but can hide behind your keyboard and tell everybody off. lol. 

If someone comes in to MY home and refuses to speak to anyone then no I do not assume they are shy.  Most likely they are stuck up conceited snobs that think they are better than every one else in attendance.

                                                                       Yet, another example of countrygirls Hateful Bullying!

[berthabutt]

Not rude indeed.  I suffered incredible shyness for years around people.  It's a phobia just like any other phobia.  It's a mental condition.  It was extremely hard for me to meet new people.  I went through this through my 20's.                                      Another example of countrygirls Hateful Bullying!

So now being shy is a medical condition? LOLOLOLOLOL

[jenniferhoder]

She could be shy, but she SHOULD have at least thanked you for inviting her!