How Old Is Too Old?

[Cbsteffen]

I personally dont think its anyone elses business if adult children live with their parents

I was going to say that the title of this discussion is not such a good question.

[sbenkoski]

I was building a house when I was 17 but  it was next door to my parents and I lived next door to them till they passed away, dad in 86 and my mom in 07  I sold both houses and moved. It was too hard thinking of someone else in their house and I still living next door. 

[Cbsteffen]

I was building a house when I was 17 but  it was next door to my parents and I lived next door to them till they passed away, dad in 86 and my mom in 07  I sold both houses and moved. It was too hard thinking of someone else in their house and I still living next door.

My maternal grandparents died in those years too (grandfather in 1986 and grandmother in 2007).

[fillfran82]

What do you think?  How old is too old to be living with your parents?  I have recently watched several TV shows as well as having some acquaintances where children ranging from 25 to as much as 36 are living at home.  I don't mean for 6 months while they get on their feet after a life circumstance.  I think the least time is 2 years.  Do you think some parents enable their children and want them to be dependent?

Hello!

That is a great question. However I don't think it is a matter of age whether it is a matter of maturity and readiness. For instance there are children that will never be ready to grow up and take care of themselves they will always depend on their parents for everything. Furthermore I feel we can't  judge until we know the full story all situations are different.

For example, I technically live with my mother. Many people would ask when am I ready to grow my wings and fly. However the truth of the matter is that I do live on my own and have my apartment. I have had my own apartment since 27 years old and before that I was renting a room in her house. My situation is a bit different because the truth is that I've been taking care of myself since I was 17 years old. Overall I don't really think it is any of our place to see if the person is too old.

Sincerely,
fillfran82

[countrygirl12]

What do you think?  How old is too old to be living with your parents?  I have recently watched several TV shows as well as having some acquaintances where children ranging from 25 to as much as 36 are living at home.  I don't mean for 6 months while they get on their feet after a life circumstance.  I think the least time is 2 years.  Do you think some parents enable their children and want them to be dependent?

It is really none of anyone's business.  I wouldn't say the parent's want their kids to be dependent on them forever.  Some people do baby their kids though.  And some kids are just lazy.  Some parents have a big enough house and life is tough out there and the kids work and they live at home because it is really hard to make it on your own.  Why struggle and starve if you can live with your parents and share expenses.  Even if the parent pays the way for the kid it is nothing to any one else if the parent is doing what they want to do.

[countrygirl12]

I think it depends on the situation. If the adult child is working and helping to pay for bills, has their own private pace and is a single person, I think it is ok. If the child is lazy, does not help around the house, does not work or going to school to better themselves, they need to get out by 21. They are just taking up space and they need to do it at their own place.

What business is it of yours?  If it is your kid then kick them out.  But if they do not have a job they are not going to be able to afford a place of their own.  If YOU are not footing the bill then it is nothing to you.  MY children could live with me as long as they needed to or wanted to.  And if they never had a job and I worked 3 jobs to pay for every thing they wanted then that is MY business and NO ONE else's.

[pectacon]

I'm in my late 20's and still at home, I intend to be until I get married, it's just how it works in my family. I work and could afford an apartment, but why, just to sit alone and think about how independent I am? I'd rather be with my loved ones. It's often a cultural thing and I just think it's nice, I don't get why it's seen as weird to still want to be with your family once you hit some arbitrary age. So long as it's mutually wanted and no one is getting taken advantage of, why get all up in arms?

[countrygirl12]

What do you think?  How old is too old to be living with your parents?  I have recently watched several TV shows as well as having some acquaintances where children ranging from 25 to as much as 36 are living at home.  I don't mean for 6 months while they get on their feet after a life circumstance.  I think the least time is 2 years.  Do you think some parents enable their children and want them to be dependent?

Hello!

That is a great question. However I don't think it is a matter of age whether it is a matter of maturity and readiness. For instance there are children that will never be ready to grow up and take care of themselves they will always depend on their parents for everything. Furthermore I feel we can't  judge until we know the full story all situations are different.

For example, I technically live with my mother. Many people would ask when am I ready to grow my wings and fly. However the truth of the matter is that I do live on my own and have my apartment. I have had my own apartment since 27 years old and before that I was renting a room in her house. My situation is a bit different because the truth is that I've been taking care of myself since I was 17 years old. Overall I don't really think it is any of our place to see if the person is too old.

Sincerely,
fillfran82

The problem with never growing up and always depending on parents is who is going to take are of them when their parents die?  They do not need to be a leech off the government.  Adult children still living at home if fine but at a certain age they need to get a job and learn to be self sufficient.  Meaning if their parents die they can take care of themselves.

[countrygirl12]

I'm in my late 20's and still at home, I intend to be until I get married, it's just how it works in my family. I work and could afford an apartment, but why, just to sit alone and think about how independent I am? I'd rather be with my loved ones. It's often a cultural thing and I just think it's nice, I don't get why it's seen as weird to still want to be with your family once you hit some arbitrary age. So long as it's mutually wanted and no one is getting taken advantage of, why get all up in arms?

Because that is what people do.  When I got my first apartment I remember a great-aunt making a smart remark asking how old I was and smarting off saying well it's time.  It was none of her business.  Would be none of her business if I still lived at home.  I was working and even if I wasn't it was none of her business.  If it is YOUR kid then at 30 you can say hey you need to move out or pay rent or do something besides sit here and play video games.  If it is someone else's kid then it is none of your business to say what they need to do.

[ancmetro]

      Humans are like birds: "When they are baby chicks, they live with their parents in the nest. Once they reach maturity, they leave the nest...they fly away trying to make it on their own".

[teresa3200]

I guess sometimes people have hardships and help from family can't be prevented. Many people lose jobs or the cost of living is more than they can pay. It can make it easier if more people are paying the bills.

[countrygirl12]

I guess sometimes people have hardships and help from family can't be prevented. Many people lose jobs or the cost of living is more than they can pay. It can make it easier if more people are paying the bills.

If a close family member needed a place to stay I would not tell them to sleep on the street.  It amazes me when you see homeless people who have family.  That doesn't make sense to me.  And of course if you have 3-5 people helping pay rent/mortgage or electric bill and food it will be easier than if one person alone is trying to pay it.

[w3s]

Usually people who live at home out of college are regarded as jokes. I think it's fine as long as the child is actively looking on how they can move out in the future.

[adriarobi]

A lot of young adults have been co-opted by the part of society that thinks we are entitled to be taken care of at others expense, either by the government (tax-papers pay for it), or parent's pay for it.

It is so sad to see how many don't feel motivated to take care of themselves....that is a lot of what made this country great years ago.

 

[michele2042]

A lot of young adults have been co-opted by the part of society that thinks we are entitled to be taken care of at others expense, either by the government (tax-papers pay for it), or parent's pay for it.

It is so sad to see how many don't feel motivated to take care of themselves....that is a lot of what made this country great years ago.

 

Children can be very motivated but still unable to successfully make enough to live on their own.  There are also many times that parents need help, such is our case, and having our adult son live with us is a blessing.   And as someone else said, sometimes it's a cultural matter.   I don't think we should judge anyone or paint everyone or most with such a broad brush.