going to heaven

[elsieirabor]

One day, three men died and went to hell. Satan was there and the three guys asked to be sent to heaven. However Satan said that only the good people can go to heaven…so he let them give him a question each. If Satan can answer their questions correctly, the person will stay in Hell; but if Satan didnt answer it correctly the person can go to Heaven.
 
So the first person tries. He was a Mathematician, and he gave Satan a very tough maths formula. But Satan solved it in no time. So the mathematician goes to Hell…
 
The second person, who happens to be a scientist, gave it a try. He asked Satan to prove a very difficult Science question involving quantum theory and Newton’s law and watever sh*t in between. Once again Satan managed to answer correctly, so the man goes to Hell…*haiz*..*sad*…
 
The last guy goes forward. He was a ~censored~, so Satan laughed at him. Nontheless, he asked to be given a chair and an electric drill, and he was given those things. So he drilled five identical holes in a circle in the middle of the chair, sat on the chair and farted.
 
He asked Satan, “Which hole did I fart through?”
 
Satan examined the chair and measured the diameter of every hole. He turned the chair in everyway possible. Finally he said exasperated, “this hole”, pointing to the fifth hole.
 
“Wrong!!…haha..i farted through my A55HOLE!!!…. I go to Heaven

[lannl]

That was pretty funny. I think I would even repeat it to a few friends. 

[bigfoot951]

A guy went to hell and the devil cam accross him to find him dancing.  So the devil told him to stop dancing and he wouldn't.  The devil said "it is as hot as it can be down here, how can you be dancing?"  The man replied, "I like it hot", and kept dancing.

So the devil made it even hotter and came to see the guy the next day and he was still dancing.  The devil stares at him with a WTF look on his face and the man said "I like it hot".

So this went on for a while and the devil kept making it hotter and hotter and the man kept dancing proclaiming that he liked it hot.

So one day the devil decides he will make it cold since the guy likes it hot.  So there is snow and ice everywhere and the devil is sure he got to the guy.  He walks up to the guy and said "What?  I thought you liked it hot?"

The man replied "Yeah, but the Cubs won the World Series!!"

 

[mstevenson2]

not real funny heaven is not a joke

[falcon9]

not real funny heaven is not a joke

Sure it is; unless you have substantial evidence to the contrary.

[bigedshult]

I like the one. About the clubs when this World Series. When hell froze over that was cute. Then the other one I think. It is really good and makes more sense and is not quite soulful breather.