Parents And Their Grown Up Children

[meguk]

I think there are a lot of parents who struggle to let go.  I'm married, in my thirties, and my husband and I are still referred to as "the children."  It's irritating, but no matter what we say, they don't get it.  We try to ignore it.

[jordandog]

Also, it's not like I'm just being a bump on a log or anything.  Since I've graduated, I've gone to the store almost every week to get lunch meat and whatever other groceries we need.  My sister and I share the responsibility of taking care of our dog.  I've done the dishes (and at the very least I always clean my dishes) and even helped with laundry.  And after all that I work on my game portfolio so I can get a job later.

This made me laugh! Wow, you have done some grocery shopping? Since you didn't say otherwise, I am guessing that you also used money your parents gave to you and NOT your own? Is this supposed to impress? You and your sister really extend yourselves and take care of YOUR shared animal?! I am blown away that you are only 21 (sarcasm intended) and are able to do some dishes and some laundry! That is phenomenal.

If you were in my home, you would be working a job right now and contributing some $$ for your board and upkeep and not waiting until one in your 'field' opens up. I'd be willing to bet your Mom's 'attitude' toward you has nothing to do with what time you go to bed. There were never any 'Princesses or Princes' when it came to my kids before or after reaching your age. You want to be a grownup and be treated as one? Simple....act like one and lose the privileged 'tude you seem to have.

I realize I am the only one who did not come in here and defend you, but I call it the way I see it and this IS what I saw in your words. I don't know you, or your parents, and you may be a very good person - betting you probably are. I just know that things in this country right now are tough for far too many people and I have to wonder if you, or your sister, ever consider how much pressure parents are put under. The old adage "A little goes a long way." comes to mind ie helping without being asked to or asked 20 times (not saying you are) and doing it without complaining about it or expecting to be 'congratulated' for it can make a world of difference. As far as your dad and how he approaches it? Men, dads are rarely the bad guys or the disciplinarians unless they are a single parent and have no choice. They go about their business and as long as what you do doesn't infringe on them, everything goes because they know the female is the heart of the family and we are the ones who make it run smoothly.

[lannl]

You sound like a great guy, keep up the good work. I am sure your mother is happy with you. My son would be annoyed with me too. I do not like to annoy him that way. I guess mothers think of their adult childern like children because they have not been adults for all that long.

[sherryinutah]

Once a mom...always...a mom.  It doesn't matter how old you are she will probably always treat you like a child because you are her child.  Does she have a tendency to be a controlling parent?

One way for a grown child to solve the problem is to move out and take care of your own financial responsibilities.  When you do that you'll have the freedom to do whatever without being under your Moms' thumb.

[Barbaralynne]

Your Mom may have been in a bad mood,and her reason for asking may not have been the question she asked(I need to talk,or do you need to talk). The tone of voice thing sound familiar, my mom's was "Don't look at me in that toe of voice!" She's your mother-don't try to understand her, just love her.
   And also congrat's on college- I wish the bets for you in the future.

[jwallbank]

I am a parent of two grown children, one 37 - one 34, neither lives with me (both Married) but, parents tend to be parents - if you know what I mean. My son and I used to get into brawls over his lifestyle when he was young. like one comment read maybe your mother was just in a "bad mood" could be true. When my wife went through her "Change", she was a bear to live with. This may sound like a passing thing. I would try to suggest to calmly talk to her and ask her was is bothering her about you staying up to do a project. Don't be confrontational! You need to communicate openly with her and not keep it in.