Bullying???

[lucky382001]

Glad you posted this - I'd love to know what to do about it. My son's adoptive mother says he gets bullied at school and I'd like to know what to do to stop it? My teenager also gets bullied. I don't understand why amazing kids get bullied? I was bullied a lot in school for being unique and different. I understand now as an adult that I was (and still am) just different, and that kids can be so mean. But now,   I've turned that into - I'm just unique and different and that's what makes me who I am today. I still get overlooked and looked down upon to this day, but now for me its like "oh well, their loss"  But its hard to get kids through this. Any ideas?

Personally I think some people will always bully others regardless of the consequences so bullying will always be around to some extent. Probably the best thing for the kids is to help them build up a good self esteem so they do not feel they are defined by others bad behavior. 

[smithjcsdfw]

No there is no more bullying than whan I was a child.  The internet is just another form of communication that allows us to transmit information on a larger scale than when I was a young lad.  But bullying has been around as long as there has been human emotions thrown into the equation.  What we as parents have to do is be very involved in the emotional development of our children.  There are always going to be bullys and we need to teach our children how to deal with them on every level.   Best of luck with the development of your children as they go through this process.

[ButterflyWings]

Thanks I am glad everyone likes this topic..

I teach my child that most bullies have a issue with themselves so to try to make themselves feel better they are mean to kids who are unique,smart or otherwise..I also explain that once they leave school they will never see this idiot again and if they do they will have regret..My kids have very good self esteem and well they are great smart asses..Never let a bully see you upset!!And if it gets to a point where it is unbearable then things from the parents need to be done..

[trujillo33]

Yea it seems like bullying is happening more often. I never saw bullying in my school and I never got bullied.  School should do more about it but I dont think that wont happen unless something happens at the school or parents do something. I also think that parents should be able to talk to their kids about bullying and make sure it doesnt get to the point where they kill themsevles.
My sister used to get bullied alot..my parents step in but it didnt stop and the school didnt do anything about it...until she beat up the person...from then on she was never bother again. I know thats probably not the right thing to do but it work

[jabkman]

in my experience, everyone bullies nowadays... with facebook rumors spread easy, and kids are just mean

[tantricia44]

Do you think there is more bullying??Do you think the internet is helping it escalate??Has it gone to far?? And what can we do as parents?? Yes I think bullying is more wide spread then when I was young and the forms it has taken are just sickening..
Goodness yes the internet is a big issue and well people act like asses behind a box and it seems easier to mess with them harder on here..Way to far..Way to far
Me personally I stay informed with my kids on all aspects..I watch who they interact with on computer even thought they are not allowed on social sites..I talk with them when a issue comes up and become involved..and my oldest daughter is in a anti bullying thing at school which I also attend and help out with.

Bullying has been around for ever. It just seem more frequent now because now it's easier for it to be reported. B/c of  Internet access today. It seems like kids today seem emotionally weaker. It's sad b/c today there are more programs/help they can go to then it was when I was going up. I suffered in silence, my family couldn't help, there was nothing in the form of counseling, you couldn't tell anyone b/c you'd get beaten up worse. I was picked on b/c I was a different race. I didn't fit any where. Up north I was too brown among the white folk. Down south I wasn't dark enough. So, I got through it with little help, all knew was I just had to get through school & get out. I survived & doing just fine in fact, I don't even remember the bullies that picked on me.

The issue of bullying that disturbs me now is:
1. What makes the kids of today so special that Dr. phil is doing a Stop bullying show on it? Nothing was done for me in the same situation.
2. Maybe kids of today are just weaker. They maybe are sheltered too much that when left on their own, they don't have any skills to fight back. Lacking in emotional strength/skills.
3. Sticks & stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. This was how I survived but today's kids they actually let the names hurt them. With the internet & texting tech. the victims actually give the bullies so much more power.
4. I put up with the bullying luckily we moved out of state & the next state it was easier because I already had some practice in avoiding bullies. Parent's today are so busy that they don't do any thing about the issue until the kid ends up dead.
5. Back then, we'd fight it out at least the boys do & they usually end up friends. With girls it's worse b/c it's emotional bullying that you can't fight physically out.
6. The bully usually picks on someone b/c they see something in that person that they don't like about themselves. Like a thin person may bully a fat classmate b/c maybe they were fat in the past & was picked b/4 they lost the weight.
7. I suffered b/c there was no help but today even when the kid asks for help the parents, school, counselor, police expects you to tuft it out.
8. Kids tuft out no bully is worth dying for no matter how bad it is. Just survive & you'll probably won't even remember their names.

[tantricia44]

Do you think there is more bullying??Do you think the internet is helping it escalate??Has it gone to far?? And what can we do as parents?? Yes I think bullying is more wide spread then when I was young and the forms it has taken are just sickening..
Goodness yes the internet is a big issue and well people act like asses behind a box and it seems easier to mess with them harder on here..Way to far..Way to far
Me personally I stay informed with my kids on all aspects..I watch who they interact with on computer even thought they are not allowed on social sites..I talk with them when a issue comes up and become involved..and my oldest daughter is in a anti bullying thing at school which I also attend and help out with.

Bullying has been around for ever. It just seem more frequent now because now it's easier for it to be reported. B/c of  Internet access today. It seems like kids today seem emotionally weaker. It's sad b/c today there are more programs/help they can go to then it was when I was going up. I suffered in silence, my family couldn't help, there was nothing in the form of counseling, you couldn't tell anyone b/c you'd get beaten up worse. I was picked on b/c I was a different race. I didn't fit any where. Up north I was too brown among the white folk. Down south I wasn't dark enough. So, I got through it with little help, all knew was I just had to get through school & get out. I survived & doing just fine in fact, I don't even remember the bullies that picked on me.

The issue of bullying that disturbs me now is:
1. What makes the kids of today so special that Dr. phil is doing a Stop bullying show on it? Nothing was done for me in the same situation.
2. Maybe kids of today are just weaker. They maybe are sheltered too much that when left on their own, they don't have any skills to fight back. Lacking in emotional strength/skills.
3. Sticks & stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. This was how I survived but today's kids they actually let the names hurt them. With the internet & texting tech. the victims actually give the bullies so much more power.
4. I put up with the bullying luckily we moved out of state & the next state it was easier because I already had some practice in avoiding bullies. Parent's today are so busy that they don't do any thing about the issue until the kid ends up dead.
5. Back then, we'd fight it out at least the boys do & they usually end up friends. With girls it's worse b/c it's emotional bullying that you can't fight physically out.
6. The bully usually picks on someone b/c they see something in that person that they don't like about themselves. Like a thin person may bully a fat classmate b/c maybe they were fat in the past & was picked b/4 they lost the weight.
7. I suffered b/c there was no help but today even when the kid asks for help the parents, school, counselor, police expects you to tuft it out.
8. Kids tuft out no bully is worth dying for no matter how bad it is. Just survive & you'll probably won't even remember their names.

CHECK OUT 21 JUMP STREET WOOLY BULLIES ON YOUTUBE. Tried to attach but file too big. Really Funny!

[Markemp89]

Everyone wants to have somebody to blame. I think the structure we live in is to blame. People are told that different, is bad. Homosexuality and trans-gender people are a very high focus point and target of the bullying we usually see and experience. Along with anyone else who may be different. This whole idea of if something doesn't correlate with what we are supposed to be like, or look like, or act like or feel like, if we aren't those things that Capitalist corporations and institutions like religion place out, then you are BAD and you are WRONG and something is WRONG with you, when really, the people pushing these stupid conformist ideology on people who maybe different, something is wrong with them. If I can't sit down next to somebody who is extremely abnormal than I am and feel comfortable about it (perhaps a really nerdy guy, or even a flamboyantly gay person?), if I can't feel comfortable next to somebody who is embracing who they are, then maybe something is wrong with me? Bullying is a product of the structure we live in. No one is to blame but the system of government and institutionalization of Capitalism that we live in.

[sigmapi1501]

ABSURD thread.  Bullying is NOT out of control. Coddling young children IS out of control.

No one killed themselves BECAUSE of bullying. The bullying escalated the inevitable. They killed themselves because they were weak, or depressed.  It happens. Depressed people kill themselves.

Ever since "Leave it to Beaver" was on air in the 50's the message was STAND UP TO THE BULLY!  You will be bullied your whole life. You go to buy a car, house or anything else.... the Salesman will try to 'bully' you into paying more. You have to stand up for yourself.  At work, no one will ever give you a raise or promotion, you must ask for it.  Standing up for yourself.  We are raising a generation of absolute pu$$ies. No keeping score in tee ball, no Dodge Ball.  We are destroying the male gender. 

And I don't wanna hear a sap story about some kid killing himself because someone called him a '*bleep*' on his facebook page.  It isn't a "tragedy." It was a coward committing a selfish and cowardly act.  At least they only killed themselves and didn't shoot up their school.

[AmyTrivitt]

I feel that it is a problem that is wide spread but kids today have more hatered in their hearts due to the things that society is teaching them.  It used to be that the kids settled their issues with fists but in this day and age they are using machine guns. 

We just have to trust that we are going to teach our kids a better way and hope for the best. 

yep. parents also are to blame. many dont understand that parenting is a verb, requireing action on their part... not a passive process.

You are so right. My oldest daughter was bullied awhile back at her old church for believing in god,, YES you read that right. Two older boys approached her pushed her in a corner started kicking the crap out of her and calling her the worst names in the world.
My actions first was calling the church letting them know and after getting NO where with this particular church I called the police department. An investigation was opened, well from a visit to one of the boys house's the PD told me DHS was getting involved due to violence in the home.

[ButterflyWings]

ABSURD thread.  Bullying is NOT out of control. Coddling young children IS out of control.

No one killed themselves BECAUSE of bullying. The bullying escalated the inevitable. They killed themselves because they were weak, or depressed.  It happens. Depressed people kill themselves.

Ever since "Leave it to Beaver" was on air in the 50's the message was STAND UP TO THE BULLY!  You will be bullied your whole life. You go to buy a car, house or anything else.... the Salesman will try to 'bully' you into paying more. You have to stand up for yourself.  At work, no one will ever give you a raise or promotion, you must ask for it.  Standing up for yourself.  We are raising a generation of absolute pu$$ies. No keeping score in tee ball, no Dodge Ball.  We are destroying the male gender. 

And I don't wanna hear a sap story about some kid killing himself because someone called him a '*bleep*' on his facebook page.  It isn't a "tragedy." It was a coward committing a selfish and cowardly act.  At least they only killed themselves and didn't shoot up their school.

You can have your opinion even though it sounds cold and filled with anger..you sound like a bully to me with your response..I do not coddle my kids and they are far from p$$$ies.They are taught to stand up for themselves but you know what when you have a individual who gets a rush out of being mean and hurtful and goes to lengths of physical,or down right evil then parents need to have some responsibility..Some kids yeah fight with depression that does not make them weak they have a illness..A bully looks for that and exploits it..so some kids fel a way out is death sad sad sad..When they are not being helped when they feel cornered or like this bully has them..So to your response..you make me sad to think people have some cold and dark opinions..Epidemic no..Becoming a little more scary then school yard taunting YES!!

[sigmapi1501]

You can have your opinion even though it sounds cold and filled with anger..you sound like a bully to me with your response..I do not coddle my kids and they are far from p$$$ies.They are taught to stand up for themselves but you know what when you have a individual who gets a rush out of being mean and hurtful and goes to lengths of physical,or down right evil then parents need to have some responsibility..Some kids yeah fight with depression that does not make them weak they have a illness..A bully looks for that and exploits it..so some kids fel a way out is death sad sad sad..When they are not being helped when they feel cornered or like this bully has them..So to your response..you make me sad to think people have some cold and dark opinions..Epidemic no..Becoming a little more scary then school yard taunting YES!!

If you do not coddle your Children and they do stand up for themselves, then obviously my post was not directed at you.

[JessieKateRose]

I think the internet has made it worse. :

Bullying is going to happen one way or another, and maybe it is somewhat out of control and all, but I think more should be done to teach kids how to deal with it instead of trying to prevent it completely.

[jasmineandjustin]

My kids are still young...but believe it or not there is bullying in KINDERGARTEN!!!! Can you believe it!?  That is supposed to be a fun grade...

[ButterflyWings]

My kids are still young...but believe it or not there is bullying in KINDERGARTEN!!!! Can you believe it!?  That is supposed to be a fun grade...

Yes Jasmine I believe it I have a daughter in Kindergarten and she has been faced with it already..thank goodness she is a smartass like mom and does not let it bother her