Do you keep a man when he cheats? Are the standards the same for a woman

[klvcaudillo]

Why is it that some men cheat once and they get dumped but a man can cheat more than once (not Tiger) and the women still stick around.  Does the nature of the affair have to do with it?  Does the time frame of the affair play a role in the decision?  Why is it different for woman?  What is the standard?

[cherrington17]

wow... digging up an oldy...  but lets get some conversation going.


men... by nature, are suppose to be polygamous.  Its an unfortunate part of our character.  Granted, modern men (like modern women) should be allowed the right to look, but never go further.  Afterall, we all have eyes, and some men/women are certainly more attractive then others.  If my eyes catch some beautiful woman really showing off (not obscenely) why should it be illegal for me to look.. she spent alot of time and effort to look that good.  Its doing her a favor for me to appreciate her beauty.  But... I would be a total hypocrite if I got mad at my g/f for doing the same thing with a guy.  And I'll be a man about it, I can admit when another guy is attractive.  Its not gay, its honesty.  She can admit when a girl is.  Doesn't mean we want to go molest/have sex with that person.  We're adults.  Its natural.

Now, about the cheating... if a person can have their judgement swayed to give in to their carnal desires (or the cheatee is just that good to break down their defenses) then the cheater did something wrong.  IMHO, man or woman, once a cheater, always a cheater.  If it happens once, it certainly can again.  I've been on the bad end of that (had an ex that cheated) and I never trusted her again.  We still dated for a few years after, and I would always be super paranoid about her jumping on another guy. (she claims rape, i claim she was slutty... cuz she was)  If you don't avoid the situation, your just as liable when it happens, because you could have avoided it. (not saying rape is ok, but she teased this guy alot... got drunk and passed out.  NO PART of that exempts her from her actions.  espicially cuz it all happened AT HIS APARTMENT, and she shouldn't have been there drunk and shouldn't have been a cocktease at work, for the few years they worked together)

anywho, i digress.  Guys cheat, and its seen as manly.  Girls cheat and its seen as slutty.  Why?  Like I said before, women are suppose to defend their relationship and nuture, not throw their body around.  Guys are the ones who use females for sex.. not the other way around. (external anatomy vs internal)  Its not the best reason, but its the best I got.

Personally, I hold both parties responsible, and see it as a negative for both, equally. 

[cakestripe]

It all depends on the personalities of the people involved, of course. I was cheated on right after high school and I dumped him, but my friend was cheated on by her fiance a year later, and she stayed with him. *shrug* Her fiance was a different person from mine, and she's also very different from me.

[mrisha]

It all depends on what you want in your life.  Some women and men cheat because they are weak and are looking for something other than what they are getting at home.  I have dumped men when they cheated on me just 1x.  I might share a  lot of things, but my man is not it.  I feel that when a man cheats he is telling you that you aren't wanted anymore.  The same goes for a woman.  For most of those who do cheat, they do not have morals or scruples and don't care who they hurt.

Some men and or women stay with the cheater because of low self esteem and will tolerate that person no matter how many times they may cheat.  That kind of thing does not always bode well for the cheater.  What I don't understand is why stay with someone who makes you miserable just to say that you have a partner, husband and or companion.  Its not worth anyone's peace of mind.

[missijl]

In any case, I think if you have high self-esteem you would move on.

[mommagoes]

i have been cheated on before (high school boyfriends) but never really cared because i wasn't in love or anything. but the 3 guys that cheated on me, when i calmly asked why they had did it, they all gave me the same answer: to get what i was not giving them. i realized that i could not blame them for their behavior becuase it was justified and thatwas such an eye-opener for me.at that stage in my life i was not ready for nor interested in having sex so i just stopped getting in relationships at that point. i feel that each person in a relationship is entilted to have expectations to be met by the other person and if the other person refuses to meet them (or in my case, not even try) thats can lead the first person to cheat. this does not just apply to men and it does not just apply to sex. men have also been known to seek affection from other women when thye do not feel appreciated or emasculated and women have been known to cheat because their man won't talk about their feelings or be romantic.

[makedoughonline]

Never again. People who cheat on you are making a statement that you don't want to admit: You don't worth much to them. I love myself enough now that I don't even give a second thought - tell them to get lost calmly.